We are in love.

The pregnancy.

Somewhere around nine months ago, our dreams of adding to our family came true... we were pregnant again. After miscarrying not long before, we were cautiously optimistic. And... when we learned that we would be adding not just one, but two babies to our family... we were nervous, but mostly ecstatic. While bringing our family count to seven seemed overwhelming to some, we knew we had been immensely blessed.

Two boys.


36 + 5 weeks... 4 days before delivery.

My pregnancy was completely uneventful... no morning sickness, no bed rest, no preterm labor... none of those things I was so worried about with a twin pregnancy. Today... March 6th... was my due date. But our boys have already been here for almost three weeks.

We decided to take the boys at 37 + 2 weeks after baby A was a little slow to respond during a non-stress test the day before. Although he ultimately ended up passing the test, we felt good about how far we had gone in our pregnancy and decided to take them the next day... Valentine's Day... before we got to a point of the boys showing distress and having an emergency situation on our hands. Both boys were frank breech and we were scheduled for a cesarean section because of this.


36 + 5 weeks... I miss that belly. Wah.

Although a Valentine's Day birth was already special in and of itself... our boys now share a birthday with my grandmother. ♥ 

In the weeks leading into our delivery of the boys, I was what I call, um... seriously hormotional. Scratch that... my entire pregnancy, I was seriously hormotional. After experiencing the trauma of Payton's birth, I had a lot of anxiety about the health and delivery of the twins. Every major milestone of my pregnancy yielded massive tears of joy... little by little, my worries were lifted. The most prominent moment was after an ultrasound at 34w6d... we had hit the 34 week mark and each of our boys were measuring 5 lb 12 oz. The over-5-lb milestone was so important to me... I do believe I sobbed for 10 minutes straight as I drove away from the doctor's office. I knew how important this milestone was to the health of our boys and it was just such a relief. Thereafter, I really calmed down and just enjoyed the remainder of my pregnancy.

The delivery.

Going into delivery, a lot of my anxiety came back. Everything became so real and being back in the birthing center where we have so much history... I was pretty nervous. I worried about the boys having trouble at birth, I worried about surprise health issues, I worried about... well, you name it... I worried about it. 


After being prepped in triage, it was time. They explained to us that I would be taken to the operating room for further prep, and that Kyle would have to wait outside until it was time to begin. Ahem. Cue the waterworks. The minute they led me down that hallway... and the heavy doors slammed behind us, I couldn't stop crying. I was scared to death of the spinal... but I was even more scared that I would feel pain when they cut me open. That didn't happen, of course. And, like I said, I was scared that everything would just be okay. I needed everything to just be okay. 



The prep seemed to take forever. There were a million people in the room, including countless students who were being taught a new prep method. And I'm pretty sure they were there to witness a twin delivery. I digress. My doctor kept saying she was so embarrassed, that she had never seen so many people in an operating room.



Eventually, I heard someone ask if everyone was ready to begin and Kyle appeared by my side. At 12:56 p.m.... baby A, Camden, was born. After hearing that he was out, it seemed like forever that I waited to hear him cry, even though I think it really was only a matter of seconds. I was crying and asking if he was okay... and then I heard the most glorious cry I have ever heard. Seconds later... baby B, Weston, was born. His bag of water was intact as they pulled him out and I heard a huge whoosh sound, which was my water breaking "all over the place and onto the floor", according to Kyle. I remember Weston crying right away and soon enough... Kyle was meeting his sons on the other side of the room. 


As I laid there on the table, my doctor made small talk about the babies. All I wanted to know was that they were healthy... I beat down the elephant in my head and blurted out, "Do they have Down syndrome?" So random... I realize this. Ha. My doctor laughed, said no... and told me they were healthy and beautiful.

And then my boys were brought to me... love.


Recovery and hospital stay.

After delivery, I was out of it... more out of it than I ever remember being after giving birth. I literally could not keep my eyes open and even though I was physically present, I am a little sad that I do not feel I got to enjoy that time with my babies. Sigh.


My first time holding both of my boys.

The babies did amazing and never had to go to the nursery out of concern. Both of them lost close to 10% of their body weight... thankfully both were just under the 10% mark, so it never became a huge issue. We did end up having to stay in the hospital one night longer because both boys had a bit of jaundice. They were both restricted to bili-blankets in my room. That made me cry, but I knew I had to get over it because in the scheme of things... this was minor. Ha! Their levels went down fairly quickly and we went home the next day.


Camden.

During our stay in the hospital, our pediatrician detected what he classified as a significant murmur in Camden's heart. Cardiology was called in and indeed... he has a couple (two or three) tiny VSD's and a PFO. The PFO could be normal... or so I'm told. The VSD's... meh, I was pretty upset, even though we went through this with Payton. I think the fact that he has more than one is what put me over the edge. Thankfully, they are tiny like Payton's was and we are praying they close on their own sooner than later. Camden also has a dilated kidney... this was detected in utero. We will follow up with ultrasounds to make sure it is resolving itself.

Meeting big brother and sisters.

The kids came to the hospital to meet the babies the afternoon after their birth. When they arrived, Payton refused to go past the doorway because she didn't like seeing me laid up in a hospital bed. She is very sensitive when it comes to others being "hurt".




Eventually, she made her way into the room. She loves her babies.


Seeing the kids with their little brothers makes my heart skip a beat. I love that they are old enough to hopefully remember their brothers being born. Mason is such a natural with the boys and Payton mimics everything I do... it is the sweetest thing. Addison can't quite handle the babies on her own, but she loves her time holding them with help. We are all in love.

 
Going home. 



*Hospital photos courtesy of Stephanie Ascari Photography.

12 weeks.

Somehow I am already almost through my first trimester of pregnancy. Other than two weeks of nausea... it has been an uneventful 12 weeks. As hard as it is for me to get pregnant... my body sure handles it well once we get there.



I will be honest and say that I have had a hard time allowing myself to accept that I really am carrying two little babies in there, and frankly... just be happy about it. I think when you have gone through infertility, miscarriage, a rocky pregnancy and the trauma of receiving a diagnosis you never knew was coming at birth... well, you are always waiting for a bomb to hit. I was telling a friend yesterday that it almost seems like I don't believe that anything will ever come easy for us when it comes to adding to our family. That is a sad reality... but I think we have turned a corner.

Baby A...


We had an ultrasound yesterday for our nuchal translucency screening and everything looks great. Both babies had great neck measurements and both of their nasal bones were detected. It definitely was a relief to hear it from the doctor. Back story: Payton's nasal bone was not detected during our 20 week ultrasound with her... miraculously a level II ultrasound a week later did detect it... and we were told, "Your baby is fine... have a great life." Quite literally.

Baby B...


As they scanned the twins yesterday... we shared our experience with Payton with them. They said they were so sorry, but they couldn't help but laugh after all we went through... knowing how every screening the doctors had done had failed. We told them we were now quite skeptical when it comes to screening... they understood. Mostly we were there for the ultrasound and to see two heartbeats still pumping away... the screening results would not make a difference one way or another for us... and we were quite certain everything would be okay. More on that later.



Payton points to my belly every day and says, "Two babies." It is so cute. We have a whole lotta love in this house to give these babies... hope they don't get overwhelmed. Ha...

This is getting more and more real... love them so much already and we are beyond excited.

*

We vacationed this summer in Myrtle Beach with my mom, sister and her family. We don't get to see my sister, brother-in-law and nieces very often since they moved... so it was nice to just have a week to hang out. It has sort of become a tradition of sorts for the kids to jump in the ocean fully clothed the night we get there... this year was no different. They love it... err, Mason and Payton love it... Nika was off somewhere watching, I'm sure.






Grandma and her grandbabies.

My niece Maya is the cutest friggen little thang with her piggies in her hair. Mason was playing with her when we were on vacation... and he suddenly proclaimed, "We are going to have two of you! We are so lucky!" Okay, be still my heart... love that kid.







So... while we were in Myrtle, we went on the SkyWheel 20-story-ferris-wheel of death. No way... never again. 


Payton cried. Mason cried. My sister cried (shhh). Not a joke... and I nearly had a panic attack because my kids were so upset. We almost had to push the emergency stop button before we even made it around once. No thank you... I'm good with my feet planted on the ground.





Cherish the memories.

Expecting two.

How was it that I worded it on facebook... something like...  

Table for 7 please!! We are so excited (and shocked and nervous and excited and still shocked and...) to announce that we are expecting twins!! 

Yes, I am for real and no, this is not a joke. We are very excited and the further along we get, the more relaxed I am and the more real this gets for us. It seems I am always waiting for a bomb to fall on my head... but things are going amazingly well so far. We are a little over 8 weeks pregnant right now.

I am high risk... I'm old, I'm having twins and ya know... I have birthed a child with Down syndrome. Gasp. I have had four ultrasounds so far and that is a definite benefit to this high risk thing. Really though... I have no concerns.

Today I got a nice 3D bonus ultrasound... you can see baby B nicely, crown to rump... and baby A has his/her back to the camera, but he/she is right in the middle of the picture... mostly a back of head/spine shot. 



Mason: What kind of babies are we having?
Me: What do you mean 'what kind'?
Mason: Are we having Down syndrome babies?
Me: No baby, you can't just choose to have a baby with Down syndrome.

*sigh*

So many thoughts about that conversation rolling around in my head.

Anyway... so excited and I think these babies will be here before we know it. Thank you so much to everyone who has prayed for us and wished us well in our journey to add to our family... I think it worked, double time.

*

Our summer has been crazy... somehow we find ourselves on the go all.the.time. I don't think that is about to stop either. Like a friend recently said, "I'd rather my hands be full than empty." Yes... my thoughts exactly.



We went home to Wisconsin over the 4th of July for an overdue visit to friends and family... as well as Kyle's 20th high school reunion. Eek! 


The kids got to be in the 4th of July parade with their Grandma... Mason talked about that for days leading up to the event. He was so excited.




The kids with their grandparents on the 4th of July.



We drove up to Minnesota for a day to see Kyle's Grandma and some of his other family. The kids got to spend some time on a family farm... I miss living in farmland and wish my kids could be around that more.








Four generations of love.

Mmmkay... this momma is tired. And nauseous. And hungry. 

Night night.