Friday, November 11, 2011

the bash.

our baby girl turned five and we did it like we like to do.
nika's halloween birthday bash.
it has become an annual thing.
costumes required.

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i admit it.
i go all out for birthdays.
i love to do it and so i do.

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the damn cake balls gave me a run for my money.
but i think i conquered.

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every year ... someone complains about having to wear a costume.
never fails.
afterwards ... they realize just how fun it can be.
you're welcome.

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my aunt and uncle ... above on the right.
prize for most improved costumes.
last year they were bacon and eggs.
ha.
no ... for real ... i think they took second place in my imaginary costume contest.

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velma and her twin showed up.
fred, shaggy, scooby and the ghost too.
the ghost (my niece) was all popping her eyes out like she was saying, "boo!"
hilarious.

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as bad luck would have it ... the day of the party was quite possibly the coldest day of the season.
cold. rain. snow.
we had to take the festivities inside.
i'm not sure my house will ever forgive me.

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there on the couch you can see the mad hatter.
he wins first place in my imaginary costume contest.
his family was dressed as alice in wonderland.
and his costume was awesome.

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donut on a string.
we did it last year too ... the kids love it.

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we are so blessed to have so many great people in our lives.

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happy birthday to you.
happy birthday to you.

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happy birthday dear nika.
happy birthday to you.

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thank you to stephanie ascari photography for capturing our day on film.
these memories are priceless.
thank you, thank you.

Friday, October 21, 2011

happy birthday, sweet girl.

dearest nika.
today you are five.
5.


you are still my baby in so many ways.
and yet... you are becoming such a big girl.
some of my favorite times are when it is just you and me.
like today at the pumpkin patch.
that is when your personality really shines.


your resilience amazes me.
you are so smart. you love to learn.
you get so excited to take the bus to school.
you thrive on attention.
you love to cuddle.
next time that stranger does not need a hug, mmkay?


you are an outgoing little girl. but only if you initiate the contact.
once someone turns the attention on you... shy girl appears.
you love music. and you really love to dance.
and i am pretty sure you are the only home girl in this family that has moves.


you love your brother so much. you really look up to him.
and you love your sister so much too.
except for when she bosses you around.
i refer to you as the mini-payton.
you mimic everything she does. 


you love food. any food. even food that you find on the ground.
you are so easygoing. yet... the drama rears its head.
you are so happy. and you usually have a smile to share.
you get your feelings hurt easily... especially if you fear you are being left out.



you crack me up with the things you say.
nika, who's the russian?
me!!
i love that. makes me grin every time.
we are so proud of you and your heritage. we will cherish that forever.



happy birthday, sweet girl.
we are just shy of three years together... and we have a lifetime to come.
i love you.
and your daddy does too.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

5 years old.

tomorrow my baby turns five.
5 years old.

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each year nika's birthday brings with it a lot of emotion. it is a time of reflection of where we have been... and where we are now. sometimes it is easy to forget the journey we endured to bring her home. it seems as though she has always been here... yet it hurts my heart that there is so much about her past that i do not know.

i cannot tell her the story of her birth. but i can tell her that she was born in st. petersburg, russia, weighing 4 pounds 3 ounces. and that she was 18 inches long. and that even though her birth parents felt they could not care for her because of her extra chromosome... there was another family half way around the world that could.

and that one day we would meet.

cannot tell her what time of day she was born. but i can tell her that she was born on october 21, 2006... which was sweetest day in the usa. ironically... kyle proposed to me on sweetest day in 1998. although unbeknownst to many... that hallmark holiday has always maintained a special place in my heart. 

of course nika was born on sweetest day.

i cannot tell her much about her birth family. but i can tell her all about our family. and how much we love her. and all about our adventures to bring her home from russia.

i often wonder why her extended birth family never visited her in the two years she sat in a baby home. i often wonder why her mom refused to give us a picture of herself when we asked. i often wonder if her older birth sister knows about her. 

there is so much that i wish i knew.

i wish i knew how to show nika's birth family that she is thriving and loving life... extra chromosome and all. 

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her birthday wish?
that you would help another orphan that sits and waits.

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charlotte is in an eastern european country.
she has less than three months left in her baby home.
after that... she will be transferred.

the family wanting to adopt charlotte is hosting a huge fundraiser.
they are desperate to bring her home.

for a small tax-deductible donation... you will be entered into a drawing to win a slew of prizes.
dslr camera.
kindle fire.
gift cards.
and so much more.

1 entry = $10
5 entries = $25
20 entries = $50



please help.
go now.
$10 will go so much further than you think.
and you could win an awesome prize.

thank you.

strut your stuff.

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Once a year, our friends and family come together to honor our girls. It is a day of love and acceptance. A day of understanding and respect. If there were such a thing as Down syndrome Island... this would be it. A place where people just get it... they get our love for these two chicks above. Extra chromosomes and all.

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As I pulled around the bend to bring the Buddy Walk site into full view... I burst into tears. This day is so important to me and it always brings so much emotion to the surface. Having so many people come together to promote awareness for Down syndrome... I cannot even put into words how this makes me feel. Me lurves it.

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Happiness. Pure joy. Love.

That is all I see when I look back at these pictures from our walk.

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Ain't no wet ground and mud gonna stop us.

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Rachel Coleman from Signing Time was there... we love us some Rachel! Her videos are a huge hit among kids... and it is because of her that so many of our kids with Down syndrome can easily learn sign language.

And she totally could live on Down syndrome Island... she would fit right in!

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We are so blessed to have always received tremendous support from friends that we met in Russia while adopting Nika. Their son... Sasha... grew up with Nika in the same groupa in their baby home... and they live 15 minutes from us.

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I have a special attachment to Sasha... he and Nika were adopted on the same day. I will never forget the look on his face when he came running in the room showing off his new clothes just before he and Nika were sprung from the baby home. Oh my gosh... his happiness over just an outfit was freakin adorable... if that does not put things into perspective for you, I am not sure what does.

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Our families traveled to Moscow together to complete our adoptions. Nika was so young and oblivious to what was going on... but Sasha was not. We were able to experience not only the adoption of a younger child, but also an older child that was very aware of what was happening. The good times and the bad times... it really helped us gain perspective as to the true emotion a child goes through in an international adoption.

Nika and Sasha are thriving today... and I feel so blessed to have this connection.

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Dora! Oh, how we love our Dora.

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Oh, Elmo and Spiderman... we love you too!

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Mostly... I just love these three so much. 

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Sunday, September 11, 2011

we will never forget.

 exactly 10 years ago today.

i was in my car alone... driving to work.
just another morning in metropolitan DC.

8:46 a.m.
i hear on the radio that an airplane has just crashed into a building in nyc.
come to find out it was the north tower of the world trade center.

i remember being taken aback... wondering how a mistake like that could happen.
i remember calling my aunt to ask if she had heard the news.

9:03 a.m.
a second airplane has just crashed into the south tower of the world trade center.

The South Tower of the World Trade Center explodes in flames after being hit by the hijacked airliner now universally known as "the second plane," United Airlines Flight 175, September 11, 2001. This photo -- with its black smoke; the shocking, brilliant, colossal flames; the cloudless sky; the beautiful Brooklyn Bridge flying the American flag -- captures so much of the story of the day that, if one were to create a composite picture to illustrate the idea of "9/11," the result might look very much like this astonishing shot.
(Photo: STR/Reuters /Landov)

panic sets in.
i continued on to work.
i realized at this point that this was no mistake.
but i did not know what to do.
i did not know how to make sense of what was happening.

In a scene repeated with terrifying frequency as flames engulfed the top of the towers, a man falls (or leaps, as was evidently the case with many victims) to his death from the World Trade Center. On the morning of September 11 photographer Richard Drew, in the midst of another assignment, got the call to drop everything and head to the World Trade Center. As soon as he arrived downtown he began shooting; later in the day, as as he processed what he had shot, he was especially struck by this photo -- and with reason. One of the most recognizable pictures made on 9/11, the image from a purely photographic perspective is breathtaking: the miniscule human form caught against the massive, abstract background of the towers is so obviously helpless, and doomed, that we're tempted to reach out our hands to try and cradle the tiny anonymous figure. And while Drew himself refuses to conjecture about the man's identity ("I prefer to think of him as a sort of Unknown Soldier," he told LIFE.com), it's impossible not to put ourselves in the falling man's place -- with all the dread and empathy that that sort of transference commands.
(Photo: AP Photo/Richard Drew)
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9:38 a.m.
hijacked flight 77 crashes into the pentagon.

(Photo: REUTERS/Larry Downing LSD/HB)

i stood with co-workers in the conference room at work watching the news coverage.
the pentagon was just two miles away... a short five minute drive.

my husband worked in a hotel that looked over the pentagon.
there was a cellphone blackout.
and i could not get a line to reach him.
i panicked... along with everyone else that could not reach their loved ones.

we were sent home.
the roads were gridlocked.
i finally reached my husband on the phone.

They have our hotel on lock down.
There are snipers everywhere.
I cannot talk and I do not know when I will be home.
I love you.

if there is ever a time that you trust in the Lord.
this is it.
i drove to my aunt's house... our entire local family met there.
we sat and watched the television in shock.

9:59 a.m.
the south tower collapses.

10:10 a.m.
hijacked flight 93 crashes into a field in pennsylvania.

10:28 a.m.
the north tower collapses.

(Photo: AP Photo/NYPD, Det. Greg Semendinger)

This image (another by Stan Honda) is an exemplar of a strange, wrenching sight witnessed by innumerable people in New York on the morning of September 11: A survivor, layered in eerie, white dust, trudging away from the cataclysm. The man, Edward Fine, was an owner of an investment and public relations firm; he was on the 78th floor of 1 World Trade Center when it was hit.
(STAN HONDA/AFP/Getty Images) 
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Stunned, frightened Marcy Borders, 28, is covered in dust as she takes refuge in an office building after one of the World Trade Center towers collapsed. Borders was caught outside on the street as the cloud of smoke and dust enveloped the area, and raced into the building seeking shelter -- a building into which freelance photographer Stan Honda had also fled. "She was sort of this ghostly figure," Honda told LIFE.com, "covered in grey-white dust, and I thought that this was an amazing thing to see, that this would make an important picture of what was happening out there." Of all the images from 9/11, Honda's picture is perhaps the most immediate representation of the collective and individual shock felt by those who were actually there, in lower Manhattan, when the towers fell.
(Photo: STAN HONDA/AFP/Getty Images) 
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Rescue workers carry mortally injured New York City Fire Department chaplain Mychal Judge from the wreckage after he was killed by falling debris while administering last rites to another victim. A Roman Catholic priest, a recovering alcoholic, a gay man, and -- as an FDNY chaplain a spiritual adviser and trusted friend to countless firefighters through the years -- "Father Mike" was the first recorded victim of the September 11 attacks. Photographer Shannon Stapleton's picture, which burns with immediacy and yet somehow feels composed, almost painterly, captures much of the day's intense incongruities in one sombre frame: the intimacy of witnessing a single death in the midst of a monumental catastrophe; brilliant sunlight shining on the chaplain's lifeless hands; devastated first responders shrugging off exhaustion, racing to the aid of helpless victims. Here is the best, and the very worst, of that day.
(Photo: SHANNON STAPLETON/Reuters /Landov)
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as i sit here this morning watching memorials on television... a tear falls.
amazing grace is being played beautifully right now by a flutist.
and i try to find the words to explain 9/11 to my son as he asks...

What does this mean?
How did that happen?
Why did they do that?


On 9/11, the New York City Police Department lost 23 officers. The Port Authority police lost 37. The FDNY's dead numbered 343. Here, firefighter Tony James cries while attending the funeral service for New York Fire Department chaplain Mychal Judge at New York's St. Francis of Assisi Church, September 15, 2001. Photographer Joe Raedle, who attended and photographed funerals for weeks after September 11, told LIFE.com of this shot: "Anytime you see a fireman or a symbol of strength breaking down like that, it resonates." In fact, Raedle's photograph, with its ghostly echoes of James' salute surrounding his tear-streaked face, speaks to how millions of people around the world felt in the days and weeks after the attacks: namely, that strength was what we all needed most, and that it was the one thing that was hardest to find.
(Photo: Joe Raedle/Getty Images)
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how about you?
where were you when the first plane crashed?
how does this day in history affect you?
i love to hear the stories of others.

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we will never forget.