5 years old.

tomorrow my baby turns five.

5 years old.

each year nika's birthday brings with it a lot of emotion. it is a time of reflection of where we have been... and where we are now. sometimes it is easy to forget the journey we endured to bring her home. it seems as though she has always been here... yet it hurts my heart that there is so much about her past that i do not know.

i cannot tell her the story of her birth. but i can tell her that she was born in st. petersburg, russia, weighing 4 pounds 3 ounces. and that she was 18 inches long. and that even though her birth parents felt they could not care for her because of her extra chromosome... there was another family half way around the world that could.

and that one day we would meet.

i cannot tell her what time of day she was born. but i can tell her that she was born on october 21, 2006... which was sweetest day in the usa. ironically... kyle proposed to me on sweetest day in 1998. although unbeknownst to many... that hallmark holiday has always maintained a special place in my heart. 

of course nika was born on sweetest day.

i cannot tell her much about her birth family. but i can tell her all about our family. and how much we love her. and all about our adventures to bring her home from russia.

i often wonder why her extended birth family never visited her in the two years she sat in a baby home. i often wonder why her mom refused to give us a picture of herself when we asked. i often wonder if her older birth sister knows about her. 

there is so much that i wish i knew.

i wish i knew how to show nika's birth family that she is thriving and loving life... extra chromosome and all. 



her birthday wish?
that you would help another orphan that sits and waits.



charlotte is in an eastern european country.
she has less than three months left in her baby home.
after that... she will be transferred.

the family wanting to adopt charlotte is hosting a huge fundraiser.
they are desperate to bring her home.

for a small tax-deductible donation... you will be entered into a drawing to win a slew of prizes.
dslr camera.
kindle fire.
gift cards.
and so much more.

1 entry = $10
5 entries = $25
20 entries = $50



please help.
go now.
$10 will go so much further than you think.
and you could win an awesome prize.

thank you.

Back to school, kiddos.

Whelp ... I guess summer got busy. So much for my pact with um ... myself ... to blog about our summertime adventures. I feel like therapy has consumed our life and I am currently evaluating our 4-mornings-a-week therapy schedule ... momma needs a break!

Somehow, it has been almost 7 years since I became a momma. I ... in no way, shape or form ... know where the time has gone and that bums me out. Big time. I feel like I've missed so much, even though I've been here the whole time!

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School is back in session. Man, I love my kids but I'm loving the fact that I have my afternoons to myself this year! Our mornings are nutso ... three kids, three different buses, three different elementary schools. Come lunchtime, I'm ready for a break!

Mason has started 1st grade. I think he and I both were more nervous for him to start 1st grade than we were for kindergarten. I don't know what it is ... the fact that he is older, has more responsibility and is more aware of the social aspect of school? Why does the social aspect of everything stress me out so much?!



Speaking of ... I snapped this picture in a hurry as we got out of the car at the bus stop. Mason was less than thrilled and sort of placed himself behind the car so his friends would not have to see his mom doting on him. Oh dear ... I am such an embarrassment!

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Nika was so excited to start school this year ... she jumped right into the mix of things at orientation ... I'm excited to see what this school year does for her being in a peer modeling classroom.



Even though Nika is just 9 months younger than Payton, I feel like developmentally she is so much younger. She has come so far since coming home from Russia, but she still has a lot of catching up to do. We are waiting for more spontaneous speech to show up ... her therapists do not believe she has apraxia like Payton, just really weak oral motor function. She can repeat every letter and sound of the alphabet, but developmentally she is not really putting those sounds together spontaneously.



Payton continues to be the little mother hen to Nika ... sometimes nicely, sometimes overboard. Ahem ... bossy little thang.



Here comes the bus!





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Payton is in love with school. Even the sheer mention of school, she runs to get her backpack and is ready to go ... whether or not she gets to go to school that day. The fact that Mason got to get on his bus before her was a problem ... a big problem. I had to pull her from his bus line ... kicking and screaming. Oh, she cried. She just wants to get on the bus with everyone else! Hopefully now that she knows the bus order, things will be better ... even Nika gets to go before her.



I was so excited to wait for her bus with her. I knew she would be so excited ... and of course I missed all the rah-rah-jump-up-and-down on video. Grr.



Crazy chick. I can't believe we only have one year until kindergarten ... ahh!

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And for kicks ... we had fun looking back and reading about the first day of school last year ... oh, the difference a year makes! Click here and here ...

Best friends they are.

Just 17 months ago, our family adopted a Russian orphan. A little girl that had no family ... no mommy, daddy or siblings to call her own. 

A little girl the baby home caregivers and other orphans referred to as Nika. A little girl we named Addison.



Going into our adoption, I think the thing I was most excited about was the bond that I hoped Payton and Addison would have. Sisters ... nine months apart, both sporting an extra chromosome, best friends for life. 



When Addison came home, things were not the fairytale I had dreamed about. Payton was in love with her new sister, however the feelings were not necessarily returned. And that broke a momma's heart.



I soon came to realize that Addison had spent her life in fight or flight mode when it came to other kids. If she didn't fight for her toy, she'd lose it. If she didn't fight for the food placed in front of her, she'd lose it. That was how she coped and the last thing she wanted was her doting little momma-of-a-sister in her face all the time.

She cried. She turned her back. She wanted Payton to leave her alone.

But one day ... one day she decided it might not be so bad to have a sister that loved her. And she gave in.



Today ... they are the best of friends. Well ... most days they are.

Payton is still the doting little momma-of-a-sister that Addison does not necessarily care to have. But we work our way through Addison's tears of frustration, tell Payton to back off and we move on.







Sisters they are. Best friends they are.

Ms. Melodramatic

We have got a bit of melodrama floating around our house.

Nika seems to have this fear that she is going to be left out. Or forgotten. And she has no problem letting us know her discontent by dropping to her butt, folding herself in half and having a meltdown.

We nipped that in the bud real quick.

The other morning, I was getting the girls ready for the day. Every morning, each of them get yogurt with their Nutrivene mixed in. I always feed it to them so I can make sure they get it all.

Payton was first. She was throwing a fit, because she wanted Goldfish instead of her yogurt. I told her she could have Goldfish after she ate her yogurt and gave her a little baggie of Goldfish to hold onto.

Nika couldn't take it.

She turned around, covered her eyes and shuddered her shoulders as if she were fake crying.

Oh, the melodrama.

She wanted some Goldfish too. And apparently she thought she was going to go forgotten.

You done, Nika? Because that was quite possibly the most hilarious thing I've ever witnessed.

Gotcha Day: One Year Ago Today

One year ago today, Kyle and I sat in a Russian courtroom pleading our case as to why we would make good parents to Addison, a Russian orphan with Down syndrome. Trying to make them understand why we would want a child with Down syndrome was another story.

In the end, I think they understood ... and I think ... I hope ... they were inspired. The judge granted our adoption ... effective immediately ... meaning the standard 10-day waiting period was waived and we were able to take Addison from the baby home immediately!

Excerpt from our adoption blog ... 11/12/08 ... Court Day ... Yesterday we got to meet Addison's favorite caregiver. She must have been on vacation when we were there for our first trip, because I don't remember her. She is so sweet and Addison clearly adores her. She was singing nursery rhymes to Addison and she was totally doing all the motions to them ... I loved it!

Today our translator told us that the caregiver asked our translator this morning when we would be coming to take Addison for good. She said she couldn't handle it and didn't want to be there. She said she has been crying for days and she just doesn't want to be there. That makes me so sad! I almost feel guilty for taking her. I can't imagine the pain this caregiver is experiencing ... to have raised Addison for the first two years of her life, and now she will be gone to another country. It makes me teary eyed just thinking about it. I told our translator I was sad that we wouldn't see the caregiver because I really wanted to take a picture of her and Addison. I also wanted to video tape her singing the nursery rhymes to Addison so that I can play them for her when we get home.

It turns out, however, that we are picking Addison up at a different time than we originally thought, so we may end up seeing the caregiver tomorrow after all.

And we did! She was there and I was so happy about that. I didn't want her to regret being able to say goodbye ... and I just wanted to hug her for loving Addison so much during her first two years of life.

Nika with her favorite caregiver during her going away party.

Excerpt from our adoption blog ... 11/13/08 ... Gotcha Day ... We got to the baby home and met the director for the first time. She was so sweet and we gave her a gift that we bought for her. She was very grateful that we are adopting Addison and she essentially meant that if it weren't for us, then she may not have ever been adopted. I got teary eyed and then we went to visit the social worker to give her a gift, and she told us the same thing as the director and I got teary eyed again. Then we went up to Addison's grouppa (aka: her "family unit"). There were four caregivers there and yes, her favorite caregiver was there. We gave each of the caregivers gifts that we bought for them and they thanked us. Our translator told us that we could get Addison dressed in the clothes that we brought for her, so we did. Good grief ... that really made her look like Payton! LOL.

There is another family that we know that is adopting a little boy from Addison's grouppa. We had court the same day and they also had their 10-day waiting period waived, as their little boy has a heart defect. They had left the room to change him and all a sudden he came flying through the door to show his friends his new digs ... a Nike warm-up suit. It was so cute! He was so proud and so happy ... it was so fun to watch his reaction, since he is old enough to know what it means to have new things (he is almost four years old). That alone almost made me cry. LOL.

So both of our families joined the caregivers in another room and they were already crying. I lost it, Kyle lost it, our translator lost it ... we all just cried. How could you stand there and watch this and not lose it? Seriously. I know they are so happy that these kids now have families, but their hearts are also aching. I promised them that we would send lots of pictures so that they can rest assured that Addison is doing great and that she is in a great place. I know the "not knowing what happens" is the hardest part for them. It would be for me too.

Before we left, we let Addison's favorite caregiver have her time with her ... she was so sweet. She has given her entire soul to our child and I just hugged her and we cried. What a special lady.

It was time to say goodbye and all the caregivers were there. The one in red that is holding Addison is her favorite caregiver and the one to the left in green in the physical therapist that had told us she was giving Addison lots of massages ...

It has been a whirlwind of a year. Nika has adjusted beautifully to our family and everyone adores her. Mason just said to me the other day, "Mommy, I love Nika. She has such a cute little face."

The changes that Nika has made over the past year are amazing ... physically, developmentally, emotionally. She is doing awesome and we are working with her to move her past any little quirks that she has (i.e. regressing into herself and refusing to participate in one on one therapy). She has definitely come out of her shell and she wastes no time telling us "No!" right along with her siblings. Ha. Sassy little thing.

Wordless Wednesday: Cheesy Monkey

Wordless Wednesday: My Russian Cheese Monkey

Partners in crime.

Back to school ...

Within the past 36 hours, I have attended three back to school orientations at three different elementary schools for three different kids who will be going to school and loading buses at three different times. Three.

I'm exhausted. And overwhelmed.

Mason will be starting full day kindergarten on Tuesday. We met his teacher and her assistant, both of whom I like very much. I am super anxious about him starting school for a number of reasons ... mainly because I hope he keeps his behavior in check. He had some problems with impulsiveness in preschool and I really hope he understands ... or should I say remembers ... that it is inappropriate. I have been reviewing the rules with him and he gets so annoyed with me, as if I have no reason to be reviewing rules.

*chuckles* Crazy kid.

I also am really concerned about his learning ability. He is not grasping some of his letters by sight and his numbers are a huge concern as well. I feel like I already need to have a conference with his teacher ... and school has not even started yet!

Payton also starts school on Tuesday ... and she is going to be riding the bus! There is a separate preschool bus that comes directly to our house to pick her up. I am really anxious about her riding the bus ... I mean, she is three. I refused bus transport last year for her, but this year there is no way I can drive her since I have three kids going to three schools and loading three buses at three different times ... remember? Of the three kids, Payton has to go the furthest. The reason for this is that we were able to get her in that 6/6 classroom, which is only available at certain schools.

Payton and I were able to go see her classroom and meet her teacher, as well as the two aides. I really like all three of them, especially the aides. Her teacher was very nice, however she seemed sort of harsh to me. Harshness aside, I think she will be a great teacher from a learning aspect.

After fighting for it the entire last school year, I finally was successful in getting one on one speech therapy for Payton at school. So ... she will be getting that, in addition to her private speech therapy that I take her to twice a week.

My biggest concern is that Payton will be in school five days a week, in the afternoon. She still naps, so I hope she doesn't get so tired that her learning and behavior are affected. I am praying that she keeps so busy that she doesn't even realize she is tired. Oh, my poor sweet girl.

Addison starts school on Wednesday ... yikes! Didn't she just come home from Russia ... err something?! She will be attending school two mornings a week and she will also be riding the bus. Talk about anxiety! I feel like I'm throwing my baby to a pack of wolves!

*sigh* But ... for the aforementioned reasons, I cannot drive her. And I know my sanity will be so much better if I just let all three kids take the bus, but seriously ... people normally don't have to do this for the first time with all of their kids at once!

Anyway.

We have already had our first home visit with Addison's teacher and I think we are going to have a great year. I really like her and it seems like she has a great communication system with families, which I want. I feel comfortable that she will adapt to Addison and help her in her adjustment. I plan to push for another day, as well as one on one therapies at school. I also have a private speech evaluation scheduled, since her county therapy services have now ended.

So let the games begin! I think I thought I would have more time on my hands once school starts, but I am no longer convinced that is the case!

The damage is done.

So I was in the kitchen making microwaving dinner ... right inside the glass sliding doors you see in the picture below. As I went to walk outside with a plate full of chicken nuggets, I saw a mess beneath my feet.The girls apparently thought it would be fun to throw soil all over the deck ... soil from my urn that was full of beautiful dead flowers. And Payton, being the artist that she is, thought it would be fun to paint her sister with soil.
As mad as I was at the mess, you know I had to grab my camera to document the damage. Here is culprit #1 claiming her artwork ...
At least nobody can say that my kids don't get to explore their environment!

Everyday Love

Nika's sleep study results ...

Yesterday we had our follow up appointment with our ENT to review Nika's sleep study results. The sleep study was way back in February, mind you.

So the results were basically inconclusive. We learned nothing ... all because of the really.smart.sleep.study.tech. Apparently the tech failed to make sure that the belt around Nika's belly remained intact ... and thus they did not get the readings they needed.

Seriously?

As if the tech doesn't know that the belt needs to remain intact? As if he didn't know it wasn't picking up a reading the entire time we were there?

This honestly just irks me. Now we have to repeat the sleep study, however I've asked if there is another facility that we can use. The facility we have been using is horrible, not to mention having to wait for several hours every.single.time we go there.

GI Appointment: Nika

Today I took Nika to see a GI to discuss the possibility of her having reflux. I do think she is a silent refluxer ... but I can't be sure. I talked to them about doing a scope to see if she has any damage down there ... sort of taking the proactive route.

They agreed ... so we'll get that on the books.

Weigh in ---> 25 pounds, 33 inches

Fun Summer Days

Payton loves to swing ... and she has the longest tongue ever!Our friend that we found, Prince Charming ...

The next female Nascar driver ...And finally ...

... some cute little toe gap feet ...

No sweat here ...

So I am pretty sure that Nika does not sweat. Now that the weather is getting really hot, I have noticed her turning really red. And this is not red as in sun burnt red, it is red as in overheating red. As soon as I bring her inside, she returns to her normal color.

I have heard that some kids with Down syndrome do not sweat, or do not sweat as much as they should. I know Payton sweats, although I'm not sure she sweats as much as the typical kid does. Alas ... it hasn't been an issue with her.

With Nika, however, we have a problem. I mean look at the picture of her ... that is not normal. This picture was taken after she played outside for maybe 30 minutes.

So you guessed it ... I need words of experience from those that are familiar with this. Guess we will be having some testing done.

Fun times.

Our happy girl ...

I took these pictures when we were in New York overlooking the city of Albany. I told Kyle to get Nika to laugh and boy did she ever. Isn't it amazing the changes she has made in the past six months?

It is amazing. She is amazing.

Medical Updates

Last week Payton saw her geneticist. She weighed in at 36 pounds and is 37 inches tall. She falls within great percentiles on the typical growth chart, so her geneticist is thrilled with that.

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We discussed her speech and the doc would like us to start using pictures boards here at home. Sigh. As if we need something else to occupy our time. I'd rather go more hardcore on signing, because she finally is doing great with imitating sign and using it without being cued.

*trying to remain positive*

Payton's speech is just so ready to come out of her mouth, I can tell. It is like we are standing at the top of a mountain, but we just can't pull ourselves over the peak. She has been doing really well these past couple weeks as far as imitating sounds and even imitating intonation when she isn't necessarily imitating sounds. Her favorite new word is shoes ... it is so cute. I need to make a list, but other words ... or approximations ... she has been saying is pizza, Mason, bubbles, pop, all done, dog ...

She talks all day long. We don't always know what she is saying, but I'm pretty sure she knows exactly. Last night she sat on the couch and read a book to her doll. It was so cute. She held it outward like her teacher does at school, flipped the pages and read the entire thing ... in her own way. I just sat there and smiled at her ... that chick makes my heart swell out of my body.

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We also discussed Payton's horrible eating habits with the geneticist. At times, I have been at the point of wanting to get her into a feeding clinic. She eats chicken nuggets at least once per day, if not twice. That and pizza are pretty much the only main foods she will eat. Although she is getting better and better with pasta ... finally! She does eat yogurt and of course, anything salty like chips or crackers. The only fruit I can get her to eat is mandarian oranges ... and sometimes that comes with a gag. And veggies? Forget it. That is why I give her Juice Plus ... in gummy form, which she will also finally eat.

Her eating issues have definitely given me a run for my money. Her geneticist is not completely concerned, as Payton's growth has been excellent and it is clear that she is getting the nutrition she needs. We also give her Nutrivene, so she is getting some of what she needs there too.

*Disclaimer: I did not mention Nutrivene for anyone to come here and be negative about it. So please, refrain. And for those of you who do not know what I'm talking about, just know that the use of Nutrivene is very controversial. Nuff said. :o)

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Let's see ... we also got scripts for bloodwork and we will have another set of AAI xrays done. I can't wait to see what her iron level looks like, because her Restless Leg Syndrome is out of control ... and low iron contributes to that.

Other than that, Payton is doing fabulous. She is such a strong little girl ... the doctors are amazed at just how strong she is. She fights them tooth and nail ... LOL. She is feisty, like her mama.

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I took both of the girls back to the ENT yesterday to discuss hearing, speech and tubes. Payton's right tube fell out awhile ago and the left tube is blocked. So I guess we are getting no benefit from tubes right now and the plan is to replace them. Nika's ears continue to look great. She has a little wax build up, but nothing that is alarming.

So we discussed speech and whether or not the girl's are hearing to full capacity. We never get much of a reading on the tympanogram from either one of them, but their small ear canals could be batting against us. We have decided to get a sedated ABR for both girls just to be sure and to know what we are working with. I am less than thrilled about having to sedate them, but I think having these results will help us to know what we are dealing with, if anything. I like to be proactive. Both girls will be having AAI xrays beforehand, just to make sure there are no issues with their necks in case they would have to be intubated. God forbid.

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And now ... little Ms. Payton is sick. I'm not sure if it is all the changes in weather we have had or what. She has a croup cough, is wheezing and now has a fever. Could summer come and stay please?

Summer is on its way ...

The weather was just beautiful today. It was in the mid 90's, which is the hottest it has been this year. It was a welcome surprise!

This morning, we took the kids for a long walk. One thing we definitely received confirmation of is how incredibly fair skinned Nika is. It didn't even occur to me to slather on some sunscreen at 9 in the morning, however we clearly should have. Poor little miss got a little burnt just from riding in the bike trailer. I got a little burnt too on my shoulders, but hey ... I could use a little color. Ha.

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Mason has been asking to plant flowers. I guess the warm weather over the past week or two has gotten him in the mood. So after our walk today, I took him to the garden center to pick out some flowers and a pot. Holy crap ... who knew planters were so expensive?! Seriously! I also ended up buying two ferns, but when I found them for $20 cheaper per plant later on in the day, I sent Kyle to return the first set. Ha ... hey, that is $40!

Mason getting ready to plant his flowers ... he was totally annoyed at me for wanting to take a picture ... LOL. Mom, pour the soil already!

Ta da! Beautiful flowers, bub!
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The girls have been getting along so great. It is so fun to watch them together ... best friends forever. Payton has definitely taken advantage of her big sister role ... in two ways. She is constantly looking out for Nika. For example, she will throw a fit if I give her pretzels, but not Nika. Said fit will continue until Nika gets her pretzels ... even if Nika was eating something else. I guess everything they do has to be the same? Sigh. Payton also has learned how to be a little bossy girl ... she pretty much thinks she is in charge of Nika. It is pretty funny, actually. Typical big sister ... right sis?

Ms. Bossy Pants herself ... man I love this chick ...

Little sis ... looking cute in her crooked sunglasses ... you think she has ever worn sunglasses before?