When is your baby due?

Scenario: I am sitting in the waiting room at therapy this morning, waiting for the girls to finish their speech, physical and occupational therapies. My life story. I am sitting slouched in my chair, arching my back and balancing my laptop on my lap.


Lady: When is your baby due?

Me (staring at my laptop): No baby.

Lady: Oh.

Me: *silence, staring at my laptop*

Lady: How many kids do you have?

Me: Three.

Lady: Oh, well that will stretch things out.

Me: *silence, staring at my laptop*

Lady: My body is shaped like that too.

Me: *silence, staring at my laptop*

Lady: Sorry.

Me: No worries.


Oh.my.word. Seriously. I am dying here just reliving this in my head ... what was this woman thinking? She is a complete outcast and I have to sit in a waiting room with her week after week, listening to her nonsense. Be it singing at the top of her lungs, talking 999 decibels too loud or just saying the most random things ... I do not know how much more I can take!

Had I been quick on my toes, the conversation would have went like this ...


Lady: When is your baby due?

Me: November.

Lady: Aww, congratulations.

Me: Thanks ... when is your baby due?


Or ... a friend suggested this would have been even better ...


Lady: When is your baby due?

Me: Next month.

Lady: Wow, you are tiny!

Me: Yes I am!


Ha ... love it. Maybe someday I'll be quick on my toes.

I was a hot mess.

I think ... sometimes ... people's perceptions of other people get skewed by the internet. As I sat here thinking about all the things I need to blog about ... I felt, um, unmotivated.

Earlier today, I posted this on twitter and facebook ---> Took all 3 kids to the dentist ... no cavities!

And the comments I got -- haha ... they made me laugh.

"Impressive!"

"I can't say what impresses me more...that you took three kids to the dentist at the same time or that all three have no cavities. Woo hoo!"

"... you make it sound so effortless!"

I assured them that I obviously had them fooled, because I am pretty sure I looked a hot mess up in that dentist office. Let me see if I can recap our morning ...

At 7:45 a.m., I figured I best get my butt in the shower, since I knew I had to be at the dentist office with all three kids by 9:00 a.m. Mason, Payton and I got showers, while Nika continued to sleep -- clearly I thought I had more time than I really did.

I asked Mason to go get dressed and bring his toothbrush into my bathroom so I could brush his teeth. We were headed to the dentist, after all -- needed to make sure we got rid of all the plaque. He was almost done getting ready, until he brought in a pair of tennis shoes that had knots in the laces. He wanted me to get the knots out, as his continuous pulling on the laces was clearly only making things worse. I asked him to get his other shoes and he whined that he didn't know where they were.

I love whining. Especially when I am rushing around to get all of us out the door. Sigh.

I got Payton out of the shower and started to get her dressed. She proceeded to have her daily conversation with her Dora underwear -- apparently she didn't realized we were pressed for time.

Hiiii! Dorda? Dorda? Hiiii!

I finally got her to put her clothes on and I went to grab her toothbrush. It was gone. I quickly remembered that yesterday morning Mason told me she dropped it down behind his bed and he couldn't get to it. Fantastic. I asked him to go crawl under his bed and get her toothbrush ... we were going to the dentist and she needed her teeth brushed!

But mom, I can't reach it!

Did I mention -- I love whining.

Something about sharing toothbrushes completely grosses me out, so I decided Payton would just have to go to the dentist with plaque-covered teeth. Lovely. I planned my excuse all out in my head -- just knowing they would be looking at me like I'm a hot mess.

Clearly, I didn't care.

By then, it was about 8:50 a.m. and we should have already been on the road. Meanwhile, I was half naked, I had wet hair and Nika was still asleep. I'm awesome.

I quickly got dressed, tucked my wet hair behind my ears and ran to grab Nika. I knew if anything, I had to get her teeth brushed. Meanwhile, her hair was a mess and her cheeks needed a heavy dose of lotion.

I yelled for all the kids to go get in the car. Two out of three had no shoes on and none of them had coats on. My car was in the garage, so it was okay -- right? As I opened the car door, I realized that Payton's car seat was not installed, as an adult had to ride in her seat a few days ago and I had to uninstall her car seat. Awesome.

I ran back in the house, got a pair of boots for each of the girls and grabbed three winter coats. Off we went.

We pulled into the dentist office only 5-7 minutes late ... pretty good, eh? I parked right in front of the door and had the kids run inside ... me carrying their coats. I signed us in and was asked for my insurance card and identification. Neither, nada -- I had none with me. I had been there several times before, but apparently their policy is that you must present both cards at every visit.

We'll make an exception for you this time, but blah blah blah. Whatever.

We go sit down and I got a brush out of my purse to comb Nika's bed head. She had snot coming out both nostrils and a red mark on her cheek from when she fell yesterday. She looked a hot mess.

Actually -- I'm pretty sure *I* looked a hot mess.

We were called back into the exam area and they took Mason to one chair and Nika to another. Payton stood in the corner, covering her mouth with both hands and shaking her head no. Mason did awesome gripping the arms of the chair and Nika cried. When she was done, her face was so puffy that she looked like Rocky.

Poor kid. Actually, it sort of made me happy that she cried -- it shows that she has gotten a little more feisty than she used to be.

And then it was Payton's turn. She was mad -- she screamed, she kicked, she flailed. Awesome.

I love screaming, kicking and flailing.

Oh my gosh, what a day. If I don't laugh, I'll cry. It just makes me laugh to envision all the people there looking at me like I was nuts -- and me wishing that they knew I am somewhat normal.

I think? Ha.

I know I'm not the only person who has these type of mornings. Fess up.

In better news -- none of the kids had cavities.

Mason's 6-7 year molars are coming down, although the one side is getting caught up on a baby tooth ... so the dentist wants to keep an eye on that.

We feel fairly certain that Payton is missing her two lower lateral teeth -- those are the ones on either side of the lower front teeth. The dentist isn't concerned and hopeful that it will just help prevent crowding when she gets her adult teeth.

I received confirmation that Nika will end up in an ortho office at some point. Her teeth are pretty crowded and we also discussed a palate expander for her. This would help with crowding, as well as make more room for her tongue to fit comfortable in her mouth. Her sleep specialist also talked to me about getting a palate expander to help with oxygen flow -- we shall see.

Good one babe!

Mason woke up this morning with a slight fever ... so I kept him home from school. The school said there is a measly 24 hour bug going around ... so hopefully that is all it is.

Right now, Mason and Payton are laying next to each other on the couch watching Dora and drinking chocolate milk.

Payton burps.

They both laugh.

Mason says, "Good one babe!"

************

Well ... there is good news and bad news about my Christmas decorations this year.

The good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take HIM down after two days.

I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever ---> great stories! But ... two things made me take it down.

First ... the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents, as they almost wrecked when they drove by.

Second ... a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder and almost killed herself putting it against my house ... only to find out that HE was fake once she climbed to the top.

She was not happy.

By the way ... she was just one of many people who did that.

My yard couldn't take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks in my yard where people literally drove right on up to save HIM.

My neighbor did confirm two near miss accidents on the busy street next to my house. I think I made HIM too real this time.

So it was fun while it lasted!

Mom, can we wash your car?

A couple days ago, Mason and Payton were playing in the front yard. Nika had just woke up and had a massive blow out, so I was getting ready to run upstairs and give her a quick bath. I told Mason to stay in the front yard with Payton where I could see them and that I would be right back down.

Mason: Mom, can me and Chicky wash your car?

Me: No dude, it is too cold out to be washing the car. (It was like 60-70 degrees out. LOL)

So I ran upstairs to wash Nika ... and when I came back downstairs, I saw this ...

Seriously? In less than five minutes, they have got the entire car washing system out of the garage ...

... and Payton has her shirt, socks and shoes off. The only clothing she had on was soaked to the core, not to mention her little booty was practically hanging out ... hmm, I wonder how that happened!

Mason ... any idea? Ha.

Err wait, maybe she was the one responsible! She seemed to be the one in charge of the hose ...

That's right little lady, get back to work! Ha.

This little incident actually reminds me of when Mason tried to help me wash his coat. Ha.

Love my crazy kids!

Well I lied to her!

Last night ...
Me: Mason, you can't play anymore video games until you can count to 100.
Mason (with much annoyance in his voice): Ohh-kay.

This morning ...
Mason: Mommy! I learned how to count to 100 last night!
Me (with much exaggeration in my voice): You did?! That is great!
Mason: So now can I play video games?
Me: *sigh*

This afternoon, after practicing his counting ...
Me: Okay, now start from one.
Mason: Mommy, I can't count to 100!
Kyle: You told Mommy this morning that you could.
Mason: Well I lied to her! I couldn't take it anymore! I wanted to play video games!

My Hotel Guest

For the sake of this blog entry, let's just refer to my house as Hotel Bethany.

I have a guest currently staying in my hotel. Never mind the fact that he lives here. Here is the royal guest lounging in his hotel room ...
He has recently taken a liking to his bedroom hotel room ... staying in his room watching television and playing. I have tried telling him that there are other parts of the house hotel that are enjoyable to visit, but this week he has preferred to remain private.

He asks for food orders room service quite often, however he has been advised that I am not his maid we don't have any waitstaff in this hotel. So he has agreed to pick his food up from the kitchen restaurant.

I just ran upstairs to check on his sisters some other guests that were napping and found this ...
I guess he is done with these dishes?

Housekeeping!

Mason-isms

Me: Why are you guys doing push ups?
Mason: Because Mom, that is healthy for our body.
Me: That's right. That is healthy for your bodies.

***************

Mason: Mommy, look! That car has Sponge Bob and Tweety Bird on the window.
Me: Yeah, I see.
Mason: But Mommy, I'm not allowed to watch Sponge Bob.
Me: That is right, Bubs. You are not allowed to watch Sponge Bob.
Mason: Yeah, because he says bad words that you don't like.
Me: That's right. You are so smart.

***************

Mason: Man, I love exercising. Because it is good for your heart!

Will work for toys ...

This morning as I was feeding Nika some yogurt, I needed a barrette to keep her bangs out of her eyes.

Me: Bubs, can you run upstairs and get me a barrette for Nika?

Mason: Sure, Mom.

He brought back a barrette ... but by that time I needed a paper towel, because Nika had dribbled down her shirt.

Me {as I am holding Nika's hands so she doesn't smear the yogurt further}: Can you get me a paper towel too, please?

Mason: Ugh MOM ... can we just have ONE day where I don't have any jobs?

This kid ...

In the most innocent and unassuming voice you have ever heard, Mason says ...

Mommy ... did you know that Auntie Kristie forgot to bring us Valentine's presents? Maybe she didn't know what to get us.

I'm cracking up that he thinks he gets gifts on every holiday ... pretty spoiled by his aunties, I think. I had to call Kristie to tell her what he said ... and now I'm listening to their conversation ...

{After her asking him what he wants ... he says} Well, do you want to go get the toys right now? {They move on to talking about school and his behavior ... or something like that ... then he says} Well ... Mommy kicked me out of school. She won't let me go back there.

This kid cracks me up. And no, I did not kick him out of school. I just told him that he wouldn't be returning to school if his behavior didn't approve ... and yes, he is going back to school ... yesterday was a holiday and he doesn't realize it. Man, he doesn't forget anything, does he?!

PS ... Auntie Shay ... I'm just saying ... you might want to be prepared for when you see him. Ha!

Everyday Antics of a Boy

Yesterday morning as I was getting the kids in the car, Mason felt sure that he needed to chip the ice off of the car before we could go anywhere. I reasoned with him that he could do that as soon as we got home, as we had to get Chicky to school.

"Okay mom."

After dropping Chicky off at school, I wanted to run by the Social Security office to submit Nika's application for a number.

Ha ha ha ha ... apparently you don't just run by the Social Security office. After sitting there for one hour and forty minutes waiting for A98 to be called, we had to leave to get Chicky from school. {It was a short school day due to a two-hour delay.}

During our time sitting in the Social Security office, I casually mentioned to Mason that I wanted to wash our coats when we got home. My white coat shows every teeny tiny bit of dirt and I was pretty sure the kids' coats could use to be washed too.

Are you wondering why you should care that we needed to wash our coats? Well keep reading ... geesh!

After we had picked up Chicky and gotten home, Mason told me he needed to wash the car. The ice had melted, but the car was dirty. Mind you it was still only 30-some degrees outside.

"Mom, can you open the garage door? I need to get the water."

So I opened the garage door for him, thinking surely my husband had shut the water off for the winter.

Uhh ... I guess not.

I went out to check on Mason and found this ...

"Mom, doesn't your car look nice?"

"And I washed my coat for you too."

Sigh. I guess we have never introduced him to the washing machine? Seriously.

Is he in charge of the music?

Yesterday was a long day for Mason. You see ... "my show" is a regular part of his day. That translates into the fact that he wants to watch just that ... his show. Cartoons. All day long. Umm ... I don't think so. Sorry Bubs!

I mentioned yesterday was a really long day for him ... courtesy of the inauguration. Did I tell you it was a really long day? Kyle and I wanted to watch the inaugural events on tv and Mason wanted no part of it.

"My show."

"My show."

Umm no.

I explained to Mason that it was a very important day ... that it was the day that we would be getting a new President and we wanted to watch it on tv. I also explained to him that the President is the person who is in charge of the United States. That was the best way for me to describe it to him, since he has an understanding of what the United States is. In light of the fact that he has zero understanding of what government is, I didn't go there.

As the day went on ... as we continued to watch the inaugural events on tv and read the newspaper ... every time Mason saw Obama, he said, "Look! It is our President!"

Such a smart kid. Wink.

Fast forward to yesterday evening, as we watched Beyonce sing for Barack and Michelle's dance at the ball, Mason said, "Look! It is our President!"

I said, "Yep, it sure is! {Chuckle.} Do you know what a President is?" {Mind you, this was after I had already explained to him that the President is in charge of the United States.}

Mason said, "Is he in charge of the music?"

LOL! Can you hear me laughing? This kid cracks. me. up. Very smart though, if you think about it. He said it as we watched Beyonce sing ... in his mind Barack was in charge of what was going on at the event, which of course was to be in charge of the music! Good analogy, son!

Big Boy

Mason is growing up so fast and I'm not quite sure when that happened. He will be five years old next week and it kills him that his sister got to celebrate her birthday before he did. For the past few days, he has reminded us often that soon he will be five.

Last night he was in the shower, which is his new found favorite thing to do. I was in his room {which is connected to his bathroom} and somehow he saw me in there from the shower {hard to explain, but the view from the shower to where I was standing is not really clear} ...

Mason: Mommy, what are you doing?
Me: How can you see me?
Mason: Because I know everything. Soon I'll be five and then I'll be smart.
Me: Well you are already smart, aren't you?
Mason: Yeah.

Cracks me up that he thinks he will be smart soon because he will be five. Crazy kid.

Mason Funny

"Mommy, I'm going to tell you a rhyme. Popcorn and corn ... see, I rhyme!"

I hated to burst his bubble, but I told him that corn is in the word popcorn and while it does sound like they rhyme, it is because they are the same word.

So then he said, "Yeah, I rhyme!" LOL.

Quote of the day

I am sitting here listening to the kids fight play and I just heard Mason say this to Payton as they fight over a ride on toy ...

No Chicky! You aren't listening to my rules!

I must confess ...

Yesterday I was reading Shelley's blog and I read this post ... basically she wrote a "letter" to Target telling them how much they suck for shipping a box to her without packaging it in another box. They slapped the address label on the outside of the large product box and shipped it off. Her beef was that her kids might see the shipment ... which happened to be a Christmas gift ... sitting on the front porch. When I read her post, I understood her pain, but also figured such is life.

Well ... Shelley, I must apologize to you for figuring "such is life". Ha. Let me tell you a story.

On Black Friday, I got a stellar deal on one of those super huge water slides for our backyard. I understand that it is winter right now, but for 50% off, I couldn't refuse. I didn't necessarily intend for this to be a Christmas gift, rather maybe an Easter gift since the weather will be warmer then.

Fast forward to today, Mason spent the morning with his friend from school. They came by the house to drop Mason off and came inside to chat for about a half hour. They were getting ready to leave, so Mason and his friend opened the front door ... and all I heard was, "Cool! Awesome! Wow, look at this!" Crap. I run to the front door and there is the water slide, sitting in all its glory. Sure enough Little Tikes thinks it is a good idea to just slap an address label on the product box just like Target. Note to Shelley: do not order from Little Tikes either. LOL.

Lesson to be learned from this: If you are expecting a large box shipment for Christmas, watch the porch for it and don't let the kids find it first! Sigh.

Please refill my cup

I'm not quite how this ever started, but the kids each take a sippy cup to bed with them. Usually their sippies contain chocolate milk ... it is pretty much a staple around here. Several months ago, Mason began placing his empty cup in his doorway every night after he had drank the entire thing. This is his way of saying, "Yo ... mom and dad ... please refill my cup!" It cracks me up every time!

Tales from the home front ...

While we are in Russia, Mason and Payton are being cared for by my sister, with a little Grandma and Auntie Shay in between. My mom sent me this email ... so cute ... makes me miss the kids even more ...

A couple stories from yesterday.

Payton: She comes in and goes right for the toy chest where she loves to cover herself with the Mardi Gras beads. Come lunch time, Mason’s was done first and we agreed that he could sit on the chair with a tv tray. Well when I put Payton’s dish on the kitchen table, she put her head down to cry. You see she too wanted a tv tray. She has no problems communicating and she certainly knows what she wants.

Mason: I have pansies that have needed planting for 3 weeks so Mason and I go out to plant them even though the weather is not excellent. I put on my gloves and he wants to know where his gloves are. So we get him gloves and he wants to be the main planter. Dig, empty the pot and spread the dirt around. He does a great job and he isn’t done yet, he found a broom and started sweeping while I potted another plant, and he swept my whole garage. What a helper.

I hate to beat a dead horse ...

... but Payton is doing so well with potty training! This morning we were in my bathroom, where her potty is. Her potty was sort of covered with a pair of my pants, which were draped over the tub. She walked over to the potty, pulled my pants off and pulled at her diaper {which was dry}. I took her lead and took her diaper off. She sat down and peed! She is so stinkin smart, I can't get over it!

Also, a funny story ... after she pees, she knows that we remove the little potty insert and pour the contents into the toilet. So today I did that after she went pee and then put the insert back in the potty after rinsing it. She sat back down, but didn't go any more. She stood up, removed the insert and went and shook it over the toilet as if she were emptying it. Too funny.

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Updated: Twice more today Payton has approached me tugging at her diaper as if telling me she needs to pee. Sure enough, she did. Yay baby girl!